Kevin WranovixOnce you get into the city of Dubai, the buildings soar above you to the point that you cannot see their tops from inside of your taxi, much like New York, Chicago, L.A., or other American metropolises. The main difference though is that all the buildings are a modern metal and glass, and in the morning are so bright as to be blinding, while in the setting sun they are a mix of golden yellow where the sun hits them and soft, slate blue where it does not. I expected the city to be varying shades of brown and beige, but like most of Southern California, the forced relocation of water has made the city green and blue and vibrant even where it should not be.
Almost everyone we met was incredibly generous and helpful, most of them expats from countries in the region or even further abroad. Emiratis (citizens of the UAE) only make up about 11% of the population, so most of the people you will come into contact with are not not actually from here. Our tour guide was Egyptian, another driver Pakistani, and one of our waiters Lebanese. From what we were told, Emiratis get free houses, a 75k Dirham gift (about $20,000) upon getting married, free healthcare, free education, and interest free loans all from the government. We haven’t verified much of that, but it was from the mouth of our tour guide, who was “certified”. I believe that means she took a test.
We ate our way around the city, as we normally do when we travel. Our best meals included seabass cooked in a puff pastry at Fish Beach Taverna, tons of halloumi, walnuts and cheese wrapped in a smoked/grilled eggplant, kafta (kebab of ground beef or lamb with onions, parsley and spices) at Zahr El Laymoun, and a towering dish of rice, beetroot, and shawarma meat that I mention again below.
On day one, after a twelve hour flight and one hour of sleep, we arrived in Dubai at 8:00 AM and struggled to stay awake all day, which we mostly did. We went to Burj Khalifa, which is the tallest building in the world and which you can feel sway in the wind when you are at the top. It is very touristy, but still a good time. The merchandise available for purchase at the top is even gaudier than Empire State Building merch. The Emeratis doing everything bigger, kind of like Texas but without regards to civil rights… well also like Texas I guess. Anyway, the swaying is not great for your head when you are already woozy from intense jet lag, but we powered through.
Day two, we went on a city tour, the highlight of which was going to the spice souk (market), where we got to haggle over the price of saffron and camel milk chocolate (don’t knock it ’til you try it). Catherine got called Shakira multiple times because her hair was down, and the heat made it big and wavy. I got called professor because I look like a nerd I guess? The shopkeepers are super aggressive but not in a mean way. We had spices shoved into our hands and scarves draped over our shoulders repeatedly in wild attempts at getting our attention.
Saffron is one of the biggest sellers here because it’s grown and collected in Iran just across the water, and Iran is the UAE’s biggest trading partner. It’s incredibly cheap here versus the rest of the world, but still expensive as far as spices go. At one point we were holding a tin basket full of what must have been $5,000 worth of saffron. I convinced myself I was a character in Dune, but unfortunately we didn’t see any visions. When they lit a few coals and roasted a batch of menthol on top to it to let us inhale though, I’m pretty sure I did see something. Also cleared our sinuses right up.
The Dubai Mall in many ways disgusted me, but I’m sure a lot of people would love it (Catherine included…). The clustering of that much fast fashion, high fashion, gadgets, and consumer goods into one place was as if Los Angeles had a child with New York and it grew up to swipe right on Las Vegas and they moved in together. Still following me? Perfect. Different websites give slightly different numbers, but the Mall is 5.9 million square feet, 3.77 million of which is leasable space for shops, has over 1,200 stores and 200 food and beverage restaurants. Quick back of the napkin maths says that if it were all only one story, that would cover about 25 blocks in Manhattan. When Emirati teens ask their parents to “drop them off at the mall” it’s not the same experience that we had at Tower Records and A&F.
Now the food and beverage I can get behind. And we did. On Thursday night we ate at a restaurant called Somewhere Cafe, which had food inspired from around the globe. This was our favorite meal in the city and included Shawarma Beetroot Rice, a lime vinaigrette salad, and lastly a dish of fried potatoes, chickpeas, and eggplant under a layer of yogurt topped with shoestring potatoes. The restaurant overlooks the Dubai fountain which is spectacular and puts on a water and lights show every half hour at night. I think the cafe is a very popular restaurant for Emiratis, as we were the only people on the balcony not dressed in traditional clothing for the first half hour of our meal, and the place served no alcohol (its only demerit). Good thing I didn’t check for the drink menu first, because if I had, we probably would have skipped it.
On our final day, we had all morning to ourselves, so we enjoyed a lazy breakfast and an hour or so at the pool. We also visited the Sky Views Dubai, which sports an Instagram-famous glass slide on the outside of the 53rd floor of the building. The full structure is actually two identical towers with a rooftop pool that spans the two of them and a glass bottomed walkway that is not for the faint of heart. Needless to say, we enjoyed both the slide and the walkway, and Catherine giggled like a schoolgirl on her way down the slide.
At 3:30 PM we were picked up for a desert safari, a very popular activity for tourists, but that seems to be for good reason, as it turned out to be one of our favorite activities in Dubai. Our guide let the air out of the tires of our Toyota Highlander about an hour outside the city and then proceeded to swerve, drift, and slide all over the desert dunes. Seatbelts and a strong stomach are a must.
After a few extremely touristy pictures on the dunes (think synchronized jumps and sand tossing), our driver dropped us off at a “Bedouin” camp, where we were able to ride a camel, enjoy some Arabian coffee and donuts, eat fresh falafel and schwarma, hold a falcon, get henna tattoo for Catherine, smoke hookah, and sit at a low table for a dinner the size of which could have easily fed eight people rather than just the two of us. In the center of the encampment there were multiple performances, including the aforementioned hawk swooping within inches of our heads, a bellydancer, and a fire breather. The highlight though was a male dancer of some sort who put on the show of the night by twirling a heavy light up skirt and a series of interlocking circular tubs (not unlike tambourines) that fit together like Russian dolls while continuously twirling himself for over 15 minutes. That’s the best my words can do, but the video will do him more justice.
The next morning we woke up at the crack of dawn and rushed to the airport (four hours in advance) to navigate the insanity that is the Emirates check in/bag check terminal to leave Dubai. Emirates does a fantastic job as many know, but the sheer volume of people transiting out even at six in the morning made for an absolute zoo. After a number of hectic issues with our baggage and our boarding passes that made us fear we would miss our flight even with that four hour cushion, we eventually made our flight to Male and settled in for a bumpy ride to paradise.